A new mother needed help taking care of her newborn when she returned to work.
She asked her 64-year-old mother to babysit her child, but when her mother asked to be compensated, the daughter refused.
A female Redditor opened up about a dilemma she was facing with her mother. The woman explained that she had just given birth to her child and needed help caring for her newborn as she was returning to work. The first person she believed would be perfect for the job was her mother, a 64-year-old woman who had been a homemaker since 1992.
However, her mother was not keen on a full-time babysitting job. The grandmother reasoned that she was too old and had already raised her children. She also told her daughter that she should have considered staying home if she wanted to have a baby.
The older woman said that she and her husband had agreed that she would stay home and take care of the kids while he worked and provided for the family. If they could build a “traditional” family that way, then her daughter and partner could find a way to do the same.
As much as the 29-year-old could have considered those options, she explained that they had just survived the pandemic, which took a toll on their finances. In addition to the struggling economy, the woman gave a breakdown of her monthly income and accumulated debt.
She said, “I make $55k a year, but have $39k in student loans and $20k in other debt, including credit card, car loan, and medical debt. My partner makes about $36k a year and has $5k in credit card debt.”
Seeing that she was the higher earner and carried significant debt, she felt she could not afford not to return to work. The newly expanded family also lived in a small one-bedroom apartment and planned to save up to move into a bigger place once the baby grew older. Every cent mattered.
However, the grandmother did not agree to babysit without compensation. She asked to be paid $20 per hour, including late fees if the parents picked up the child late. She also requested a car seat and a stroller, and to be compensated for driving the child back to her daughter’s house, since babysitting from their apartment was not an option.
According to the new mom, her mother lived 15 minutes away and had only been to her apartment once in the five years she and her partner had lived there. The grandmother had personal reasons for not stepping foot in their home.
The daughter found her mother’s request unreasonable, especially because she would have to invest in another car seat and stroller. She wrote, “I want to save money to bring down our debt, and I don’t want to pay her as much or invest in double everything, as it will spiral into more debt for me and my partner.”
What seemed like an easy solution ended up causing conflict between them. After her mother laid out her terms, it appeared that enrolling the newborn in an infant care center would actually be more convenient and possibly cheaper.
Still, the Original Poster turned to other Reddit users to ask if she was wrong for not wanting to pay her mother for babysitting. “She does not do anything besides watch TV and cook meals,” she added.
The story was not well received. Many users were critical and told her she should not have had children if she could not afford to take care of them. Some said she should have discussed the arrangement with her mother during pregnancy, knowing she would need to return to work.
Others felt she was rude for saying her mother did nothing besides watching TV and cooking. They emphasized that the older woman was retired and had the right to refuse because child care is demanding work.
Commenters added that since the grandmother had already raised her own children, she was only obligated to offer occasional babysitting out of kindness, not as a full-time responsibility. To many readers, the Redditor came across as entitled.
Here is a story about a woman who refused to babysit her cousin’s children for $15 per hour and instead quoted her own price.
