Parents Really Named Their Kids This: Reddit Shares the Most Unfortunate Baby Names Ever
“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet.”
That line worked beautifully for Romeo trying to win over Juliet — but let’s be honest, it probably wouldn’t hold up if her name had been Moronica or Sh’miracle.
Names stick with us for life. They appear on school roll calls, job applications, legal documents, and awkward first introductions. And while many parents strive to give their children something unique, some take originality a little too far.
A curious Reddit user recently asked a simple but dangerous question:
“What’s the dumbest name you’ve ever heard someone give their child?”
The internet responded exactly as expected — with disbelief, laughter, and secondhand embarrassment. Below are some of the most unforgettable (and unfortunate) names shared in the thread.
#1 North, Saint, Chicago, Psalm
Celebrity babies tend to live by different rules. Many commenters quickly pointed out that famous parents seem especially fond of unconventional names — consequences optional.
#2 Tequila Mockingbird
One Redditor working in public schools claimed they had two completely unrelated students named Tequila Mockingbird. Across different parts of the state. Somehow, this happened twice.
#3 Cinnamon, Rosemary, and Paprika
Triplets named after spices. Unsurprisingly, everyone called them “The Spice Girls.” Honestly, this one almost circles back to being charming.
#4 Harley (As in “Harley, David’s Son”)
A motorcycle enthusiast named his son Harley purely for the dad joke. Commitment level: extreme.
#5 Felonie
Yes, like felony. The person who shared this said they’re often downvoted because people refuse to believe it’s real — but unfortunately, it is.
#6 Moronica
An office manager with this name left coworkers wondering if her parents misspelled Monica… or just hated her from birth.
#7 Pubert
Short, brutal, and impossible to defend. Commenters agreed this crossed from “unique” into straight-up cruelty.
#8 Nevaeh
“Heaven spelled backwards,” parents proudly explain — every single time. Redditors admitted they can now predict the explanation before it’s said.
#9 Urethra
A midwife shared this near-disaster. The parents “just liked how it sounded” and had no idea what it meant — until they received an emergency anatomy lesson.
#10 Dextrose
A bank employee helped a regular customer with this name and always wondered whether siblings named Sucrose and Fructose existed.
#11 Ahliviyah
Pronounced Olivia. Spelled like a puzzle. Reddit agreed that forcing someone to spell their name for life should be considered a crime.
#12 The Longest Name You’ll Ever See
One mother famously gave her daughter a name so long it stretched over two feet on the birth certificate — purely to get into the Guinness Book of World Records. The daughter legally changed it the moment she turned 18.
#13 Slinky
Named after the toy. The teacher who shared this story strongly felt there should be laws against such decisions.
#14 Jenna Side
Say it out loud. Slowly. Now imagine living with it.
#15 Person
Yes. Just… Person. Everyone desperately hoped it was a typo.
#16 Galaxy Kitchen
This was someone’s actual daughter’s name. Reddit remains speechless.
#17 Kerosene
A goth-inspired choice, apparently. The child reportedly clarified: “Like the gas.”
#18 Pikachu
Named after the Pokémon. Born into destiny whether they wanted it or not.
#19 Sh’miracle
Because apparently “Miracle” alone wasn’t creative enough.
#20 Chinesegirl
Shared by a banking employee. The woman was not Chinese. No one had answers.
When ‘Unique’ Goes Too Far
The original poster later reflected that while some names were funny, others were genuinely sad. Kids with extreme names often face bullying, embarrassment, and social challenges they never asked for.
Wanting a child to stand out is understandable — but Reddit overwhelmingly agreed on one thing:
Parents should imagine their child at 10, 18, and 40 years old before locking in a name forever.
Because the internet never forgets. And neither do school bullies.
