A lady went to the bar on a cruise ship and ordered a Scotch with just two drops of water.
The bartender served her the drink, and she smiled. “I’m on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday… and today’s the day!”
The bartender said warmly, “Well, happy birthday! This one’s on me.”
After finishing her drink, a woman sitting to her right said, “I’d like to buy you a drink too.”
The lady replied, “Thank you, how sweet of you. Bartender, I’ll have another Scotch, with two drops of water, please.”
“Coming right up,” said the bartender.
When she finished that drink, a man to her left said, “I want to buy you a drink as well.”
“Thank you kindly,” she said. “Bartender, another Scotch, two drops of water.”
“Coming right up,” the bartender replied.
Finally, when handing her the drink, the bartender asked, “Ma’am, I can’t help but ask… why the Scotch with only two drops of water?”
The old woman chuckled and said, “Sonny, when you’re my age, you learn how to hold your liquor. Water, however, is a whole other issue.”
The Wise Old Lady at the Bank
An elderly lady walked into a bank, intending to withdraw some money.
She handed her bank card to the teller and said politely, “I’d like to withdraw $500, please.”
The female teller frowned slightly and said, “For withdrawals less than $5,000, please use the ATM.”
“Why?” asked the old lady.
“These are the rules,” the teller replied irritably. “Please step aside if there’s no other matter; there’s a line behind you.” She handed the card back.
The old lady remained silent for a moment… then returned the card and said calmly, “Please help me withdraw all the money in my account.”
The teller, astonished, checked the account balance. Her eyes widened. “Oh… my apologies, ma’am. You have $3.5 million in your account, and we don’t currently have that much cash on hand. Could you make an appointment to come back tomorrow?”
The old lady asked, “How much can I withdraw right now?”
“Any amount up to $300,000,” the teller explained.
“Fine,” the lady said. “I’ll take $300,000, please.”
The teller quickly prepared the cash and handed it to her respectfully.
The old lady placed $500 in her bag and asked the teller to deposit the remaining $299,500 back into her account.
Moral of the story:
Don’t underestimate elderly people—they’ve spent a lifetime learning how to handle situations wisely!
