Especially that one, I said. Carl grinned. This is going to be fun, isn’t it? I paid cash, got the certified survey, and spent that evening on my dock with a beer, watching sunset turn the water orange and gold. The loons were calling. Sound like lonely ghosts. I called Gretchen. What can I actually do with this? She didn’t hesitate.
Legally, revoke every easement tomorrow. They’re trespassing. Practically, you’ll be the most hated man in Wisconsin. I explained I only wanted to target Darlene and her cronies. Protect the good people. You’d need documented cause, harassment, bad faith, threats. Build the file first, then act. Week three, Darlene brought the hammer down.
She filed a complaint with county zoning claiming my dock was an unpermitted structure violating setback requirements and environmental standards. Pure fiction. My doc was 70 years old, grandfathered under every regulation ever written. But filing triggered an automatic investigation which meant I’d spent time and money defending against ghosts.
Then came the invoice, certified mail, official letterhead she’d probably designed herself, demanding $1,850 for back dues, late fees, and special assessment for legal defense fund. Threatened lean placement in 10 days. I was actually laughing when Gretchen called. You got the zoning complaint? I told her, “Yes, also the fake invoice. Perfect.
She’s building your harassment case for you. Keep everything.” That night, Darlene sent the email I’d been waiting for. Emergency HOA meeting, mandatory attendance, urgent violations threatening property values. I debated staying home just to irritate her. Then decided I wanted a front row seat to whatever theater she was planning. The community center smelled like burnt coffee somebody forgot about 3 hours ago and that industrial floor cleaner that stings your nose.
