“I Told Her to Go Dance With Another Man — Her Comeback Left Me Standing There Like an Idiot”

Left the porch light on anyway. Just in case.

A few days later, my heifer broke through a weak gate and demolished a row of May’s squash. I get there and May’s standing in the wreckage, hands on hips, staring my cow down like she’s about to read it its rights.

“Jack Callaway, your cow just ate a third of my squash crop.”

The cow kept chewing. Zero remorse.

“She’s got good taste,” I said.