24 août 2026

“I Drove My Drunk Office Enemy Home. Her Roommate Opened the Door and Said: ‘Oh — so YOU’RE the one she saves emails from.’ The folder was called ‘Mason Being Infuriating.’ There were 47 emails in it.”

Maybe even more stunning when she was.

“You need water,” I said.

“I need everyone to stop congratulating Thomas for my pitch.”

That pulled me up short. Thomas Beck, our creative director, had given the toast that night — five full minutes during which he’d managed to mention “the team’s collaborative energy” while somehow spending most of the speech reflecting on his own leadership journey. Natalie had smiled through every second of it. The smile of a woman who has already tried and convicted you in her head and is simply waiting on sentencing.

“It was your pitch,” I said.

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